Stirred up to write about married life, my husband and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary this month. It’s stage 3 restrictions in Australia. I’m the only one going out of the house these days.
I made Jeff his favourite Mocha Chiffon cake and Shrimp Carbonara for our Anniversary dinner. These days, life has been more straightforward and quieter in the house. Usually, we would go out for dinner with the kids or go for a day trip on weekends.
The just “work-and-home life” these days gives us more focus. It lets us dig a bit deeper on things we usually just set aside during the pre-COVID 19 days.
Table of Contents
Relishing the Life
Look at how far we’ve come. It’s like watching a scene in the Disney movie “Up”. There is that scene about the relationship of a married couple named Ellie and Carl. The song called “Married Life” tells the story from the day they met until they parted.
Looking back from our early days, I learned that we should take it all easy and calmly. Marriage is not all about being happy but being together through the ordinary and tough times.
The Horse and the Carriage
If you know couple artist Yehuda and Maya Devir’s comic series is all about their married life. Their drawings are so funny and relatable to couples. The joys and pains, successes and failures are shared as their relationship is unfolding.
In the early stages, I would often think that a perfect marriage is all about no conflicts, no fights or crises. I did not know what I signed up for after a couple of years. Thanks to my husband who admittedly is stronger and wiser than I. I would just have given up and raised the white flag.
The Single Life Vs. the Married Life
If I was to tell my younger self (23 years old when my life started). I would choose to be married. When we meet our partner, you feel a sense of security and comfort. You are no longer afraid of what the world throws at you. You now have a defender and partner who will guide you.
On the practical side, I had zero domestic skills when I was single. Again it was Jeff to the rescue. He taught me how to do ironing, house cleaning. When we had Tabitha, our firstborn, Jeff taught how to carry a newborn. I was unprepared and only had some basic cooking skills.
With married life, I was able to develop and focus on cooking to feed my family. I also focused on changing my career that would be pro family which means not travelling anymore. So I chose education.
But the most important part which I never neglected was strengthening my Faith. By praying and going to Mass on Sundays, it served as my moral compass and shield from unwise judgements.
For Better or Worst
I found a quote about married life by the famous poet Pablo Neruda. It speaks to us how each partner probably felt when they exchanged their I do’s on their wedding day.
“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate then when I fall asleep your eyes close.”
– Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets
Married couples should always strive to uphold their married life. The coming days are still uncertain. We are grateful for the time to be together to strengthen family and marriage bonds. We realise what we have right now is so precious. We are thankful that we can still support and serve families and the community. I pray that after this crisis, people will emerge stronger, wiser and resilient.
